Create Ease In Your Life....

Day 47
Natalie Here

As I read Stephanie's post I was reminded again how this process is one of finding love of self.

The moment I remind myself to be gentle with my thoughts when the judgements come up through the day, it brings be back to the present. I simply say "you are doing your best", this in itself makes me conscious/aware.
When I water the plants in my garden my focus is one of nurturing. When I take care of the plants they respond by flourishing and in turn give be me back flowers, fruits and vegetables. The focus is on taking care of the needs of the plant. So often in my life I feel as if I am running, running without even realizing that I am on empty. My needs get pushed aside in the effort of doing.

It is the same for my spirit ~ feeding my mind loving thoughts allows me to feel connected and to flourish.


Being conscious/present gives me the environment to choose to be good enough; the choice is made over and over again. I say to myself "I love you, I love you " those simple words creates ease.

The focus for me today is to neither judge the negative thoughts but let them dissolve with "I love you" and nurture one need.

Namaste,
Natalie

Staying The Course and Making Peace with My Mind

Day 45
Natalie Here

Well here we are 45 days in and I have learnt some very important things about myself ~ I can continue to commit to me while being embroiled in the sometimes chaos of my life. This last month I planned, executed and cleaned up my husbands big 50 Th Birthday bash, after just finishing my daughters Birthday party with all her new kindergarten friends and creating a photo shoot for my new promotional work for my agencies, Eco gardens, ballet rehearsal for the Nutcracker ,soccer games.....you know being a MOM. Whew ! And unlike the Real Housewives I did the work myself with the help of friends and family. It was fun and at times anxiety ridden.


Lesson One ~
I can have a huge To do List and still do my workouts almost daily ~ I can fit my meditation in despite feeling scattered and anxious about the outcome of events in my life.

I can continue to practice mindful eating and when I have some yummy food that I especially enjoy not beat myself up as over indulging, but relish the moments as I am in my awareness.

As Stephanie says it is so easy to go to the self flagellation, but when I am aware I can see the separation it creates in me from myself and as I choose to practice loving kindness for myself I am brought back to the present.


Lesson Two ~
My ego/ mind can be a powerful motivational tool. I had two events where my outer appearance was important - One was my photo shoot and the other for me was my husbands party. In both instances I never sought perfection and truly tried to focus on nurturing my spirit. Since I have started this endeavor
I have lost about 11 pounds with my goal being 20. The miracle is that I have continued to keep my focus without being on any particular diet or deprivation scenario. I have enjoyed moving my body and the way it makes me feel. Meditation has at times brought me back to sanity even on the days I fight sitting still for 10 minutes and quarrel in my mind the whole time.

Now here is the joining of paths for me - I acknowledged my ego's need to focus on my physical self ( my outer appearance ) yet realized that the more fulfilling agenda was to feed my spirit by loving me in small ways, daily.
Listening to affirmation Cd's in the car - drinking water and snacking on fruits and veggies ( and when I had Cheetos, being present with myself as I ate each cheesy stick).

I am appreciative for the ego and it's excitement it creates as I step on the scale and then I am grateful for the grounding my meditation makes me feel. 


This is how I stay the course operating in both worlds and coming back to my commitment of self focus.

One thing to work on -posting more- I want to sit to write more, yet this is one area that I cannot seem to give to myself. This is my challenge and I hope as I continue that this effort will integrate into my life seamlessly.

As a mother, wife, self employed entrepreneur my greatest hope is that I can learn how to feel like I have a handle on it all. Then again I  might only feel that for brief moments and maybe having my spirit to connect with is enough ??
For today I will ask what task can I let go of ?

Let's come together ... we are all here for each other to move forward- I often post motivational little diddies on my professional Facebook page - like me to get more updates.

http://www.facebook.com/NatalieLaughlin

Unretouched photo from my last shoot -retouched coming soon-

Namaste,
Natalie

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Day 33
Stephanie Here

I have to admit this process is not easy. I've had to come face to face with the fact that I've not been treating my body with sufficient respect. That being said, however, by participating in Feed Your Spirit, I am observing my behavior more. That seems like an important first step to me. My schedule has been hectic.

On my mind is that I am showing up for myself more. Getting more rest. Cutting back on glases of wine in the evening. Drinking more water. Stretching a bit more. Asking myself the question "What do you need right now?" more.

I am persuaded that internal transformation leads to outer transformation. Bit by bit, therefore, showing up consistently is bound to change my outer experience.

So, thank you, Natalie, for providing this wonderful mirror for me to see myself.

Also thank you for your birthday wishes. I turned 49 last week--another opportunity for self-evaluation--and decided I'm a good person and deserve compassion and love. If you're at all like me, this is the kind of realization/decision that has to be made over and over, on an almost daily basis. Not sure why I forget...?

How hard we women can be on ourselves! Let's take it a little lighter!

Day 26
Natalie Here

This journey of being conscious in my body right now sometimes throws me for a loop and as I find myself sobbing....  My tears are big lumps of water as they drop to the floor like a heavy rain  and I feel relief as I can see there is no more covering up and then,... I survive my feelings.

 Today I had the privilige and pleasure  of planting an edible garden that I created with parents at my children's Elementary school. There was a little girl in one of the classes with a group of 6 year olds and I saw myself at that age. She was taller and larger than her peers and that was me - I never fit in with my friends - I was always physically bigger than they were. In this lovely girl I saw such beauty in her way of being ~ her quietness, and I thought to myself I pray that she knows her own magnificence! I hope that her family and those close to her tell her everyday how incredible she is !

 That is what we must do for ourselves;  find the magniifcence and beauty in who we are now.
There are daily reminders everywhere for me to see that love and compassion can satisfy all the injustice that one can feel.

Namaste,
Natalie

The Rhythm of a Woman.....

Day 24
Natalie Here ~

I had an idea about myself open up the other day and I want to share it with you as it refers to all women: to us.
My Uncle was visiting us from Trinidad this last week and as I greeted him for the first time he said to me in his lovely lilting Trinidad accent "But you looking LOVELY! ( It had been 10 years or more since I had seen him)" Then he elaborated later saying "I do not mean how you look physically exactly but your rhythm." He explained that every woman has a rhythm; their own way of moving through the world.
I just absolutely fell in love with this idea of my rhythm. I continue to look at other women in a completely different light. If our beauty can be defined by our own unique way of being ~ our rhythm, should not our focus be on finding that place of peace inside or on finding our own voices. We communicate with our energy from the inside out and how we feel inside reflects outward creating it's own energy flow ~ your rhythm.

grasses being moved by a current underwater

So what is your rhythm today ?
Is it like water or the wind or the earth, fast, smooth or bumpy? 

Namaste,
Natalie

STEP TWO - Acceptance....... Day 23

Natalie Here- 


On this journey of transformation and living in connection from within we must find a way to surrender to the NOW. To begin to step forward in our lives we have to start from where we are at this very moment in time.

I believe we are spiritual beings having a human experience and our body is the vehicle that we use to walk through our life. This is our first partnership.
Finding love and acceptance for our body is essential to creating a relationship with ourselves that is full of love and being in the present, away from negative self talk. 

There is a two fold element to accepting our bodies as they are right now - one of creating an energy flow through our bodies and of being present in ourselves.
When we feel grounded from where we are, we can easily move forward and make choices that come from our truth.
Being in the now moment is a positive place to start our journey of balance and wholeness which are natural states for our body.

I find this one of the single hardest tasks, as in my life right now there are many ways that my 'voice'; the me that is full of judgement and regret, constantly shows me over and over how different everything could be. "If only I made this choice, or we did this instead of this...... "On and on the torture of the chatter finds ways to seep all the joy out of my day. This is living in the past, the moment I can bring myself back to Zero/Now I am free and in the reality of this moment.
I have found that starting from the present; the now moment, frees the energy to clear away the blocks that keep us tied to our current weight.
How do you stop the chatter and breathe into this moment and feel satisfaction? 
-You work on it with love and compassion for yourself. 
-You trust that the universe is full of possibilities and you are being shown the way everyday if you stop long enough to listen to the you that is grounded in peace and certaintiy of all the good that is available to you.
This is the gift of our current quest ~ an opportunity to live from spirit. 

"My gratitude for all previous Moments
sets me free in this one"

Accepting and Loving Your Body Now~

Our bodies respond to our mind and if we are disconnected and fighting with our present body how do we access the body we are capable of having-
The body that reflects vibrancy and health is the body that is full of self love. 
 This is where accepting ourselves is so very important and there are ways to get us to that place of love -
Away from the disgust that we can feel as we see the dimples and flesh and lumps and bumps. (Providing we ever actually look at our bodies naked). This is you that you judge and with each sigh you feel the heaviness of all the despair. I have been intimate with body judgement for most of my life. First from the people around me, then young boys whose attention I craved at age 14, then the magazines that seem to parade the ideal of beauty all around me. I hear my friends with their constant self depricating conversations, punctuated with false laughter. 
Whether it is public or private we have all had our moments of despair at how our physical self is looked upon by others and by our own selves. Hating our bodies has become a way we connect to our friends, almost a source of comfort.

If you are ready to take a stand in your life and be true to your own being you must love every inch of you!!.

I make a conscious effort daily as I look in the mirror every morning to appreciate what I see.~
When we love ourselves we create lightness and openings and levity in our day. Feeling love for ourselves opens up the door for the universe to move forward through us ! 
Accept, Accept, Accept-

This is what you do - 

Get naked and stand infront of the mirror~
Take a nice long look at what you see from zero/no thought/blank mind -(do not let your mind take you off track of your task now!)
Look, take your hand and hold your tummy, run you hands over your body from your shoulders, over your breasts down to your thighs. Turn around look at every angle Feel the skin and form of your body around your back. The moment your hear your mind start up just simply say "thank you, but now I am practicing love of myself" and breathe in light to that part of you that is hard to look at or appreciate. You may even like what you see ~ remember you are unique, there is no one like you and this is a thought that can be celebrated!

I sometimes smile as I hold my flesh and feel a giggle come over me, as perhaps embarrassment of checking myself out in the mirror feels strange. I see the scars that tell the story of my life and the moles that tell the time I have had in my life so far. I take in my full shape and see the whole of me and then the parts- my hands ,my elbows, my knees. This is your own personal discovery of your body and your feelings about it. Feelings and emotions are key to releasing energy that you carry so allow the feelings to move through you then resume the task at hand. (More on this in step 3)


How does your partner here- your body, work for you - 
can you move easily in your life, does it feel appreciated and loved so that it can perform at it's best. 

What does your body say to you ~ listen.
Sit, close your eyes and hear what your body needs~ sometimes I hear -
I need you to drink more water, I need you to stretch more, I like when you touch me.
With your eyes closed breathe light into the areas that need love and acceptance. 
My cellulite always needs some extra loving.
Feel the connection to this partner we travel with everyday.

ASK your body for permission to lose the extra weight you carry so that you may live in health.
Ask it to help you in this endeavour.
Thank your body for all that it does without your thinking and for you living in it today.

Tell your body "I love You"

"A life of freedom begins when we realize deep within ourselves  that we are whole and complete just as we are."

Next we make a list-

List 10 things you love about your body.

The list can be parts you love, as well as ways your body does things for you that you love. 

 1. My hands

2. My legs that help me walk and run over my favourite bridge.....

You might find other ways to appreciate the physical part of your self.

Take this step as often as you can. sometimes it will be just a glimpse as you change in the mirror and you become aware of the dialogue in your head then you change the voice into one of appreciation and love.

Affirm everyday- 

I love myself as I am.

I no longer wait to be perfect in order to love myself.

Before sleep, a little meditation as you close your eyes~

See yourself vibrant and healthy at the weight you desire.

Have a clear picture of your self and feel what your body feels like at that ideal weight.

Give it a smell and pull the image, feeling and smell into your body with both your arms melding the two together.

Let me know how this works for you.

Namaste,

Natalie

 

Day 16: Testing a New 1% Feel-Better Strategy

Hi gang, this is Stephanie.

I really hit the wall over the weekend. I've been working so hard and my brain was so fatigued that I could barely think. Plus I was doing a lot of computer work and my shoulders ached. I caught myself eating unconsciously and feeling ravenous cravings for carbs. I was emotionally upset, very sad, feeling kind of hopeless.

On Saturday I woke up and there was a moment of clarity: "It's my brain chemistry!" I was tired and my brain was doing everything to help me "medicate" the problem.

No wonder I had been feeling so out of control.

I decided to take back control by becoming more aware of my physical needs and addressing them. I asked a few questions, like: What am I doing that's not actually working to improve the situation? (Answer: drinking cup after cup of coffee.)

And then I came up with the question that was more useful: How could I feel just 1% better right now? All day long I was coming up with responses that I had enough energy to implement: drink a glass of water, stretch on my blue exercise ball, eat some vegetables (I cooked some ratatouille), take a walk in the sunshine for ten minutes, do three deep full-lung capacity breaths, give myself a scalp run, and more. It helped to know I could respond and feel better.

Sunday, I never turned on the computer once. I also felt better from that. I got into bed and went to sleep early. So I woke up still tired, but sharper. Meaning, if I keep using the 1% rule strategy maybe tomorrow I'll feel better still than today.

If this is useful for anyone else, please take it. For myself, I'm still not all there mentally and physically, but it's better than the alternative. I'm switching out the caffeine for more water and walks in the sun. Thankfully, it's working.

As tired as I am I'm committed to loving myself better. I just have to learn how.