Monday The 26th of September We Begin for 100 Days of Living From Spirit!

Changing our thinking about how we lose weight starts with gentle exploration of our inner life as our bodies are a reflection of our own thoughts.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Coming Clean ~ True Confessions ~ Knowing Your Best Angles

Starting the year off staring into my current reality feels right.
In October of 2015 I was forced to evaluate myself.
When I say myself - all of me ; the way I was feeling inside and out.
I have always known that I am motivated by my vanity. However this fact became even clearer to me over the last couple of months.

 I had an upcoming wedding (my darling stepdaughter) and a trip to Ireland. Pretty high stakes to say the least. My self induced, laid back approach of focusing on spirit was not moving fast enough. I had to face it, I was not in the zone of awareness at this time. Also I had to recognize that perhaps my lifestyle at the moment did not set me up for results.
Working in Real Estate, managing a family and home has not left me in the place I wanted to be for this wedding; on the physical realm that is. Then there were some factors I could no longer ignore - brain fog and headaches that plagued my daily life. My right knee was giving me a 'run for mih money" as they say in Trinidad; after a walk/run, the pain and swelling were ever present. I had to make some decisions....
I made an apt. with a doctor. The only doctor I had seen regularly was my OBGYN. My actual family doctor had passed away so I made an appointment with his replacement and came in with my litany of ailments. Did I mention I was constantly tired. Blood tests and xrays ensued. There was also the fact that after my English summer trip my weight had escalated to about 199-200 lbs. My body was not happy.
As it turns out my thyroid was out of wack and has probably been so most of my adult life. Apparently as you age it is more likely to show up on blood tests, so although I had been tested before it was now showing up as out of range. I am not going to bore you with my medical issues. The reason why it is important to mention that I did have some physical ailments is that it all relates back to me not taking care of self.
Ironically I do believe that all Dis - ease starts with spiritual, emotional and mental imbalance.

Our beings will bring our attention back to itself if we ignore the need for balance and then we have to drastically shift to re-balance.
Beaufort House Ireland (home for our stay)

 So here I was deciding to make some changes and the truth be known, having upcoming wedding photos is a strong motivator for 'MOI'. So..... I contacted a friend who had lost alot of weight on a special program and signed up. My results were so welcoming and I felt sooo good. I lost 15 pounds in 6 weeks and with thyroid medication my brain fog lifted. 

I know, I know - it seems I am a big fat hypocrite !!!! Here is the thing - sometimes when you do your make up or buy a new outfit or shoes it can change how you feel inside right? Well...
Sometimes working on the physical self is warranted in shifting your 
whole being into healing. 
Beach near Dingle Peninsular Ireland

Hiking in the Gap of Dunloe Ireland
Knowing that life is a process of discovery, sometimes the right angle is changing tact and trying something new that can give you freedom to move forward. 
Ballyhseede Castle
The Gap of Dunloe Ireland
Wedding site Ballyhseede Castle
Mind you it is always a work in progress and #FeedingMySpirit is still my life's focus.
Having a laugh at the wedding 12-20-2015

Patricia Laughlin (my mom) Me and my daughter
` Natasha

More to come on what I did, keeping the changes and how I noticed the food shift affected my emotional being.



Thursday, September 3, 2015

Feed Your Spirit Lose The Weight: Restlessness .....

Feed Your Spirit Lose The Weight: Restlessness .....: There it is again - "I don't feel comfortable in my skin" feeling.  The "I should be doing this or that " or &quot...

Restlessness .....

There it is again - "I don't feel comfortable in my skin" feeling.
 The "I should be doing this or that " or "I wish I had..." or "I should have..." Or "got to do this..."
You know all the woulda, coulda, shoulda. It all amounts to a 'restlessness' that takes us away from the moment.

Just last week I had it all planned I was going to present 'Ways I soothe myself, Instead of Eating....' Very valid as I am one who has in the past soothed myself with food.  Even if it is a yogurt at night with Television.  (Yes sometimes that still happens or nuts or peanut butter on a spoon or dried fruit). What I know is that this is a mindless habit and I do need to change it. - all that snacking before bed is plain -- well lets say it gets absorbed into my body in ways that my body is unable to process as energy. Soooo.... although I make healthy choices the habit does not work for my goals and desire to be lighter in my physical being.
Then I asked myself "What am I soothing? What is it inside of me that needs comforting?"
Maybe if i take away, reduce the need or acknowledge that my spiritual, emotional needs require attention I will not want to eat. This is different than paying attention to my feelings ...
(Here is one of many posts on Feelings - Feelings ...Feel - Release )

Life is often full for everyone and the knowing of thyself is key to having peace, to have what I truly long for; the connection to the deepest part of myself that has no end. In our busy world we forget that we are indeed emotional, spiritual beings. In all the MUST DO LISTS  we have there has to be time for me/you. It's that simple. A little spiritual indulgence can carry you through many a rough day.
  •  Go for a walk - 
  • Get your work out in - 
  • Read something inspirational - 
  • Put on some loud music and go crazy with your kids -
  • Meditate -
  • Take a yoga class-
  • Sit in a park and read an inspirational book
  • Get up early before everyone else and read a book with your coffee or tea - 
  • Garden (that's where I can loose myself)
  • Watch the sunset
I am still looking for ways that make me feel taken care of - It is the mothering of self that leaves us full of Grace.
When you feel full of Grace your Restlessness dissipates.
What is Your List? What soothes YOU?

Oh...and by the way - weighed myself this morning and the scale said 197 LBS that's down from 202lbs. Although I have not felt it as of late - it helps to know I am going in the right direction today.


Friday, August 14, 2015

Know Thyself

Having awareness of self is a fundamental building block to this process.  .... Since I started this over a week ago I have been ever so diligent in my commitment to stay on the path to good health and plain and simple ~ loose weight .
Back in my modeling days that would have been a dirty word. Losing weight was not talked about. As a plus sized model there are secrets .... The size that always worked most were the thinner girls so even then I was always watching my weight. Making sure I stayed in the size 12 to 14 range which really was a size 10 to 12 in real life.
Funny to write - 'watching my weight' but in a way that is exactly what it is . It is having this vigilant awarness of food intake, exercise and maintaining healthy sleep patterns. This was all after overcoming an eating dissorder and creating a more healthy relationship with food and my body.
Not having my very paycheck depend on my 'weight',  over the years the scale has fluctuated. I am no longer a slave to what my body looks like.

Today I have other goals that motivate my weight loss -

Yes I am a woman who wants to look good - This I do Know about Myself
Yes I want to feel full of health and be full of energy to move through my days with ease - This I do Know about Myself
Yes I want to fit into to all my clothes that I love, hanging in my closet - This I do Know about myself

I am motivated my many parts of who I am . Everyday there will be an opportunity for me to find the motivation if I can see the results and believe in my intentions. I went back to how I began this blog before as I did loose 20 pounds just by following my own instructions. so I am rereading and following thru with setting intentions and goals. See this blog -
Step One

I have also decided to get practical I reactivated my fitness pal account and have commited to getting my hormones checked . I am on the attack from all angles. 
I am going to get back a little of where I was but with a whole lot more wisdom and knowledge of self.


Friday, July 31, 2015


I have been in a state of GRASPING ~
Grasping to Transform myself is always for me my mission of choice. The pursuit of a flawless life ~ Where everything is 'neat and tidy' including my said physical self.
Yes, I am tortured but now this body of mine has reached a critical point of needing to be addressed - and not wanting to be 'undressed'.
Yes, the loud voice in my head ~ " how did this happen and how could I let this happen to my self "
to "be quiet - stop the drama and take care of business". So... you put on weight - you entered a new phase in your life: at the age of 50 - menopause is not for sissy's. Then there is a new career - classes, licensing exams to study for and have I mentioned rearranging my whole life with kids and home.
Yes, again dare I say I have been preoccupied - I let my workouts dwindle, I soothed my tired mind and overwhelmed self with food and good times.  202 lbs later - there I typed the numbers... it is out !
Here I am bearing my inadeqacies and human self to the world - I have done this before - I can do it now -
My blog is the anchor where I will begin again -
First off make a drastic shift...after a month in England I am in a 3 day Juice cleanse...Juice Cleanse info on my FB Page  thanks to my local and ever so sunny/happy local juice owner Lynn Morris of 
I feel lighter and brighter and truthfully a little tired -
I feel clean and that is a step in the right direction....

Breaking free of a year of bad habits is choosing 
every minute to vigilantly be aware of my mind
 and look at my cravings as an opportunity to find other productive 
ways to soothe myself .

Namaste to anyone listening..

With A Grateful Heart.