Monday The 26th of September We Begin for 100 Days of Living From Spirit!

Changing our thinking about how we lose weight starts with gentle exploration of our inner life as our bodies are a reflection of our own thoughts.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Choices.....

The one clear thing right now that I have noticed in this process is that I can make a choice as my awareness becomes more clear.
Yesterday I had a fight with my brother. Well there was an exchange and I felt angry after he left and I found myself opening the fridge door and looking inside. It was very clear to me that in that moment I wanted to escape the feelings I was having . In my meditation study this is called the middle way - no reference point , not making things good or bad. Can I just allow myself to have the feelings without judgement?
Now I know all this stuff and I am still astonished at how easy it is for me to fall into the old patterns . How often do I do this when I am not paying attention? I go and meditate immediately. Luckily I was home, aware and had the time to spend on myself. This time I made a choice that honors my being and invites me into the direction of spirit.
Just to keep me smiling and to remind me of the wonder of the Universe- thank you Dolfin!
Today my choice was conscious but defiant and escapist.
I had my face lasered with Elos Laser/Syneron today in preparation for a photo shoot coming up. In the summer my malasma ( dark band of spots above my jaw line always darken in the Florida sun , no matter how much sunscreen I put on) . This is all so boring as I wish I did not have to bother with such things but alas the life of a model. So off I go to be lasered and the process is painful . My face feels as if it is being stung/ cynged bit by bit and with each zap I wince in pain . Leaving the office I high tail it to the pharmacy for some heavy duty sunscreen and I am in pain. It is a very uncomfortable feeling to have a burnt face, for that is what it feels like .
Back to my choice , I see a jalapeno bag of cheetos at the check out, pick it up look at the calories and decide to buy it . I actually  think about it and weigh up the negatives of eating such a food on my current quest - Losing weight . I buy them, and scoff them down in the car ( now this is my favourite and pretty much only junk food I eat).
Was it so hard for me to stay with the pain, albeit physical? I used the cheetos to redirect my attention.

The saving grace is that I was aware at the time and I know as I go through my day I can make better food choices to counteract the effects of the bad calories .

Each moment is new and I may make another choice for my future that will inline with my goals.  The question is can I focus more on what I want and deal with being uncomfortable ????

Namaste,
Natalie

No comments:

Post a Comment