Natalie Laughlin: Can We Love Ourselves Enough To No Longer Want To Be Like Anyone But Who We Are?

Natalie Laughlin: Can We Love Ourselves Enough To No Longer Want To Be Like Anyone But Who We Are?

Once again we as full figured women are at the forefront of the world stage thanks to the risks being taken by Plus Model Magazine and editor Madeline Figueroa - Jones. Women and the mainstream fashion industry continue to clash as models appear to be getting thinner and present a more unrealistic image for girls and women.
Congratulations Plus Model Magazine - plus-model-mag.com on having the courage to bring the conversation into our awareness again. This is not new and I am frustrated that we as women have not gone beyond the physical to address this issue of our bodies.
What I struggle with is how do we make lasting change-
I believe it starts when WE truly accept our bodies each day with gratitude.
Honouring ourselves for our highest good takes a relentless ongoing inward focus that reveals itself outwardly in our form. Can we love ourselves enough to no longer want to be like anyone but who we are?
Here is the link to the Video with Diane Sawyer
abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/01/most-models-meet-criteria-for-anorexia-size-6-is-plus-size-magazine/
As a mother to a girl I want her to feel gratitude for her body and how it carries her through the world, yet know that in that 'gratitude' she honours her body by feeding it nourishing food and moving it in ways that bring her joy. The goal is not to look like what she sees around her but to feel confident as herself -the focus needs to be pleasing oneself.
Often this image of oneself can be distorted by the outside world and we as human beings like to feel connected to others. The key is how do we know when to make the choice to recognize that we do not all look alike and it is our unique rythm that makes us beautiful. Our beauty identity needs to come from us and it is in loving ourselves we appreciate/accept/love what we see in the mirror.
It takes awarness of self and courage to have confidence.
I would love to know how you see yourself in the world.
Natalie Laughlin

Spreading my wings.... with focus in 2012

Natalie here
Day 101

As I counted down the days and realized I am past 100 I had to giggle at myself. So often in my life I live in great intensity that leaves me more anxious than focused. It is easy I think for us to focus on the negative as the ego mind is always there in waiting, and yet, there are lessons to be learned . One Hundred days may have passed but my journey of feeding my spirit continues as it always will. I feel encouraged by moving forward and completely successful in all that I am learning about myself. My body IS lighter and my path clearer.....

It's a new year ! Let's spread our wings ! Attack !

A New Year and an opportunity to truly begin anew.
Here I am thinking that I would recap how my holidays went and how I lived from my consciousness/ my spirit and sometimes let go of it. Then I realized that I can truly follow what we talk about all the time- living in the present and starting from the now moment. It doesn't matter what has happened in the past, each moment is an opportunity to be fresh with possibilities.

What do we do now, today, that will move us closer to self satisfaction. You know, that place  of feeling good within and it spills out all over into a smile- that full body smile. For me, honoring myself is the way. My friend Nancy said to me yesterday " we will spread our wings in 2012" thinking of it now I love the idea and imagery of having wings.
Can we be our own Angels taking care and watching over ourselves with love and everything that is sweetness , yet be powerful. Even if you don't believe in Angels ( I do ) the idea of having love for yourself brings peace into your life.

So, as I spread my wings this year I will " Attack !" Years ago on a spiritual journey I took in Egypt, the Egyptologist and tour leader of our group would call out "Attack!"  as we followed him into the crowded Temples . That very word "Attack" embodied a focus and attitude as we stuck together moving through the crowds.  A single minded focus towards our goal.

So in this first month of a New Year I will write my intentions - STEP ONE  be my own Angel - STEP TWO  spread my wings and fly!



ATTACK!



 Namaste,

Natalie

Is It Enough to Just Be Ourselves Without Apologies......

Natalie here
Day 68

With all the wanting and pushing in life, sometimes it is just enough to be who you are and accept where you are...
After a fabulous time  primitive camping on an island with my family over Thanksgiving I came home and was faced with having the flu and feeling rotten. The 'How will I get out of bed" rotten. As a mother you bite the bullet and carry on, with kids to feed and get to school, there is no time to rest. I did slow down a bit and I have to let go of some essentials one of which was this blog (sorry).

It seems there is always a reason/an apology to be made. I think about how I equate these feelings I have of not getting it right to how I feed my spirit and take care of myself.

There is a voice in my head that says - "you must do this or you will be seen as a failure!"

As a mother of young kids their needs come first and yet I am aware that in my living I am teaching them how to be in their lives and it suddenly occurred to me that the one thing I want them to know about themselves is that they are enough as they are. They are not here to prove anything to anyone but to full fill their own potential on their terms with joy and grace.

How do I show them that what others think of me is not the guide to my living and doing.
They may not hear my internal dialogue but you can bet they feel my angst. If they are to live in joy I must show them my joy and my joy comes when I feel satisfied within myself. Sometimes the satisfaction is based on acceptance that I am doing my best. I work to reteach myself that it is I who make the choices by my needs and not what I think others will think of me.

We tell our children "just be yourself" and yet, is it enough that we are ourselves.
Do we measure ourselves by our accomplishments or can we feel our greatness as we are at this moment - beautifully flawed and human.

Can I allow myself to be where I am today -not at the top of my game, but doing my best.

Let me know how you deal with this dilemma of  being yourself and what does that mean to you?
I am curious.

Namaste,

Sailing to Cayo Costa on our little boat.

camping buddies heading to the beach

self portrait on my shell hunt

playing with my son

Add caption

greeting the day with some fishing

drift wood - age and wear equals art.....

Natalie

Having an Inner Foundation

Day 49
Natalie Here

I spent the day yesterday shooting shape wear for a lingerie line ~ http://rhondashear.com. The focus was before and after foundation garments. Those must haves for women like me that need to smooth out underneath before I put clothes on top. It was very exciting to see the before and afters on camera. Humbling at times which gave me an opportunity to do some "mini acceptance work"  (see~STEP 2 ) but then the comfort and ease I felt in the shape wear was thrilling. Not to mention the results !!

It is the same for this process of Feeding our Spirit, that we are on ~ working on our inner foundation leads us to feeling confident and secure in ourselves ~ that is the greatest asset we have in looking good on the outside.

With Thanksgiving coming up I have been thinking allot about what I am grateful for in my life and planning a ceremony with my family where we light sage and incense and choose crystals as we go around a circle saying what we are thankful for and why.
We will be camping on an island in southwest Florida ~ Cayo Costa . It will be a big adventure for my family - a first, as we can only get there by boat - nothing on the island. I am giving myself permission to be present in the newness of each experience and find the joy in discomfort , should it occur. This is pretty much a guarantee when one camps.

Let me know how you spend your day of thanks.

Namaste,
Natalie

Create Ease In Your Life....

Day 47
Natalie Here

As I read Stephanie's post I was reminded again how this process is one of finding love of self.

The moment I remind myself to be gentle with my thoughts when the judgements come up through the day, it brings be back to the present. I simply say "you are doing your best", this in itself makes me conscious/aware.
When I water the plants in my garden my focus is one of nurturing. When I take care of the plants they respond by flourishing and in turn give be me back flowers, fruits and vegetables. The focus is on taking care of the needs of the plant. So often in my life I feel as if I am running, running without even realizing that I am on empty. My needs get pushed aside in the effort of doing.

It is the same for my spirit ~ feeding my mind loving thoughts allows me to feel connected and to flourish.


Being conscious/present gives me the environment to choose to be good enough; the choice is made over and over again. I say to myself "I love you, I love you " those simple words creates ease.

The focus for me today is to neither judge the negative thoughts but let them dissolve with "I love you" and nurture one need.

Namaste,
Natalie

Staying The Course and Making Peace with My Mind

Day 45
Natalie Here

Well here we are 45 days in and I have learnt some very important things about myself ~ I can continue to commit to me while being embroiled in the sometimes chaos of my life. This last month I planned, executed and cleaned up my husbands big 50 Th Birthday bash, after just finishing my daughters Birthday party with all her new kindergarten friends and creating a photo shoot for my new promotional work for my agencies, Eco gardens, ballet rehearsal for the Nutcracker ,soccer games.....you know being a MOM. Whew ! And unlike the Real Housewives I did the work myself with the help of friends and family. It was fun and at times anxiety ridden.


Lesson One ~
I can have a huge To do List and still do my workouts almost daily ~ I can fit my meditation in despite feeling scattered and anxious about the outcome of events in my life.

I can continue to practice mindful eating and when I have some yummy food that I especially enjoy not beat myself up as over indulging, but relish the moments as I am in my awareness.

As Stephanie says it is so easy to go to the self flagellation, but when I am aware I can see the separation it creates in me from myself and as I choose to practice loving kindness for myself I am brought back to the present.


Lesson Two ~
My ego/ mind can be a powerful motivational tool. I had two events where my outer appearance was important - One was my photo shoot and the other for me was my husbands party. In both instances I never sought perfection and truly tried to focus on nurturing my spirit. Since I have started this endeavor
I have lost about 11 pounds with my goal being 20. The miracle is that I have continued to keep my focus without being on any particular diet or deprivation scenario. I have enjoyed moving my body and the way it makes me feel. Meditation has at times brought me back to sanity even on the days I fight sitting still for 10 minutes and quarrel in my mind the whole time.

Now here is the joining of paths for me - I acknowledged my ego's need to focus on my physical self ( my outer appearance ) yet realized that the more fulfilling agenda was to feed my spirit by loving me in small ways, daily.
Listening to affirmation Cd's in the car - drinking water and snacking on fruits and veggies ( and when I had Cheetos, being present with myself as I ate each cheesy stick).

I am appreciative for the ego and it's excitement it creates as I step on the scale and then I am grateful for the grounding my meditation makes me feel. 


This is how I stay the course operating in both worlds and coming back to my commitment of self focus.

One thing to work on -posting more- I want to sit to write more, yet this is one area that I cannot seem to give to myself. This is my challenge and I hope as I continue that this effort will integrate into my life seamlessly.

As a mother, wife, self employed entrepreneur my greatest hope is that I can learn how to feel like I have a handle on it all. Then again I  might only feel that for brief moments and maybe having my spirit to connect with is enough ??
For today I will ask what task can I let go of ?

Let's come together ... we are all here for each other to move forward- I often post motivational little diddies on my professional Facebook page - like me to get more updates.

http://www.facebook.com/NatalieLaughlin

Unretouched photo from my last shoot -retouched coming soon-

Namaste,
Natalie

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Day 33
Stephanie Here

I have to admit this process is not easy. I've had to come face to face with the fact that I've not been treating my body with sufficient respect. That being said, however, by participating in Feed Your Spirit, I am observing my behavior more. That seems like an important first step to me. My schedule has been hectic.

On my mind is that I am showing up for myself more. Getting more rest. Cutting back on glases of wine in the evening. Drinking more water. Stretching a bit more. Asking myself the question "What do you need right now?" more.

I am persuaded that internal transformation leads to outer transformation. Bit by bit, therefore, showing up consistently is bound to change my outer experience.

So, thank you, Natalie, for providing this wonderful mirror for me to see myself.

Also thank you for your birthday wishes. I turned 49 last week--another opportunity for self-evaluation--and decided I'm a good person and deserve compassion and love. If you're at all like me, this is the kind of realization/decision that has to be made over and over, on an almost daily basis. Not sure why I forget...?

How hard we women can be on ourselves! Let's take it a little lighter!