Sunday, July 13, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Staying Still With My Discomfort
I know we all know the feeling of discomfort in our beings "I'm not feeling myself today".
The natural reaction is to just make the discomfort go away - THE SADNESS, THE ANGER, THE UNCERTAINTY. WE ALL WANT TO LIVE IN THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL IN OUR LIVES AS WE MOVE THROUGH OUR DAYS. I ESPECIALLY ALWAYS WANT TO BE PREPARED AND HAVE A HANDLE ON EVERY SITUATION, THAT BEING SAID, I HAVE PUT MYSELF IN SOME VERY UNPREDICTABLE SITUATIONS IN MY LIFE.
For one, I chose to work as a model, where I never knew for certain where my next job was coming from or what country I might travel to. Then later on in my career I would speak in front of hundreds of people telling my story of overcoming my eating disorders. Not very comfortable I assure you.
Today as a mother of 2 young children 8 and 10 years of age - the dance of unpredictability is a daily occurrence. You either have to be a prized fighter ducking and weaving or an ice skater avoiding the thin ice. Motherhood is dicey at best - You moms know what I speak of!
So here I am these last few weeks being uncomfortable in my skin, feeling oh so many feelings and not running away from them - I admit I am meditating more as a coping mechanism- I guess that is my upside.
I am aware and seeing how far I can go without having to shift away from the moment.
Accepting your life as it comes takes conscious attention..... stay tuned.
Moving Like the Grasses in the Wind with Ease..
The natural reaction is to just make the discomfort go away - THE SADNESS, THE ANGER, THE UNCERTAINTY. WE ALL WANT TO LIVE IN THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL IN OUR LIVES AS WE MOVE THROUGH OUR DAYS. I ESPECIALLY ALWAYS WANT TO BE PREPARED AND HAVE A HANDLE ON EVERY SITUATION, THAT BEING SAID, I HAVE PUT MYSELF IN SOME VERY UNPREDICTABLE SITUATIONS IN MY LIFE.
For one, I chose to work as a model, where I never knew for certain where my next job was coming from or what country I might travel to. Then later on in my career I would speak in front of hundreds of people telling my story of overcoming my eating disorders. Not very comfortable I assure you.
Today as a mother of 2 young children 8 and 10 years of age - the dance of unpredictability is a daily occurrence. You either have to be a prized fighter ducking and weaving or an ice skater avoiding the thin ice. Motherhood is dicey at best - You moms know what I speak of!
So here I am these last few weeks being uncomfortable in my skin, feeling oh so many feelings and not running away from them - I admit I am meditating more as a coping mechanism- I guess that is my upside.
I am aware and seeing how far I can go without having to shift away from the moment.
Accepting your life as it comes takes conscious attention..... stay tuned.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
My mind will not derail me, my feelings not distract me from moving forward. One moment at a time....
My emotional body is on fire the last couple of days and I seem to be full of tears at times, in unexpected moments of my day. Here is what I do about it - I cry , I feel it all flood out and allow the waterfall of feelings. I know that if I judge and suppress my feelings it leads to pain and suffering for me - I might even suppress with food or TV or anger and short temperateness towards my family. All I need to do is focus on the moment - let the feelings move through me - focus on three things I am grateful for and take the next step in my day. My mind will not derail me, my feelings not distract me from moving forward. One moment at a time....
I am grateful for the silent moments in my day.
I am grateful for the feelings that connect me to myself and reminds me that I am full of love.
Namaste,
Natalie
I am grateful for the feelings that connect me to myself and reminds me that I am full of love.
Namaste,
Natalie
Friday, January 24, 2014
Having A Start Point- Motivation- Seeing,Feeling The End Result.....
Ok - whatever you want to call it- setting an intention or goal - You have to have an end result clear in your mind to be able to achieve what you are going after-
I know we talk about the journey and moment by moment awareness ..... however, there is a starting point and something to strive for, that can propel you in making the choices to get what you want.
For me I have to be motivated.... The carrot has to be dangled -- the stronger I make the reward and can see and feel the benefits, the easier it is for me to be in the moment and consciously make the best choices with the end goal in mind!
Let's take this whole 'getting in shape', 'loosing weight', what ever floats your boat, in the terminology - I know us ladies get all caught up in not labeling because of years of external and internal abuse - FAT is a dirty, hurtful word to most of us. Words are given power by us (lifetimes of negative messaging) and you may never change how certian words affect your being. Well, it used to be so for me too, so I understand the pain in not acknowledging the extra weight as fat. The truth is you can choose how much power you give to the labels we have for our bodies and their shapes.
Rather than going in to all the menutia of what it means Let's stay focused on what you want.
It's simple - if I do not know what I weigh I won't know how much I have to loose to be at that place of feeling good in my body - it's a guessing game. Also it is different for everyone - 180 pounds on one body is not the same on mine.
I have dear friends who feel stepping on the scale could send them into a bad place of "not good enough" but think of baking a cake; you have to have the right measurements to have a good outcome - don't put emphasis on the numbers - It is just a starting point. You have to know - I have gone from not weighing myself for years because of the emotional backlash it would cause to now seeing the numbers as a guide - the numbers are not the motivation - choose something else that makes you feel good, something you have a positive emotional reaction to.- more about motivation - take the time to find out what juices you up to go for that walk or take that exercise class or skip the wine/bread pizza for today.
So here is my start point - 189 lbs
The last time I did this I reached 173 lbs - so I know it works -- I did it with ease….It is a focus...
I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH THAT THIS IS NOT A DIET OR ABOUT BEING SKINNY - THIS IS LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE IN THE MOST HEALTHY, BALANCED BODY THAT IS UNIQUE TO YOU.
I know we talk about the journey and moment by moment awareness ..... however, there is a starting point and something to strive for, that can propel you in making the choices to get what you want.
For me I have to be motivated.... The carrot has to be dangled -- the stronger I make the reward and can see and feel the benefits, the easier it is for me to be in the moment and consciously make the best choices with the end goal in mind!
Let's take this whole 'getting in shape', 'loosing weight', what ever floats your boat, in the terminology - I know us ladies get all caught up in not labeling because of years of external and internal abuse - FAT is a dirty, hurtful word to most of us. Words are given power by us (lifetimes of negative messaging) and you may never change how certian words affect your being. Well, it used to be so for me too, so I understand the pain in not acknowledging the extra weight as fat. The truth is you can choose how much power you give to the labels we have for our bodies and their shapes.
Rather than going in to all the menutia of what it means Let's stay focused on what you want.
It's simple - if I do not know what I weigh I won't know how much I have to loose to be at that place of feeling good in my body - it's a guessing game. Also it is different for everyone - 180 pounds on one body is not the same on mine.
I have dear friends who feel stepping on the scale could send them into a bad place of "not good enough" but think of baking a cake; you have to have the right measurements to have a good outcome - don't put emphasis on the numbers - It is just a starting point. You have to know - I have gone from not weighing myself for years because of the emotional backlash it would cause to now seeing the numbers as a guide - the numbers are not the motivation - choose something else that makes you feel good, something you have a positive emotional reaction to.- more about motivation - take the time to find out what juices you up to go for that walk or take that exercise class or skip the wine/bread pizza for today.
So here is my start point - 189 lbs
The last time I did this I reached 173 lbs - so I know it works -- I did it with ease….It is a focus...
I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH THAT THIS IS NOT A DIET OR ABOUT BEING SKINNY - THIS IS LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE IN THE MOST HEALTHY, BALANCED BODY THAT IS UNIQUE TO YOU.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Choosing My Life Today...Allowing the Connection to Thy Delicate Self
Allowing the Connection to Thy Delicate Self
January 15th 2014
This morning proved to unravel in a way that left me feeling incompetent in being a Mom and House/Family Manager. It just felt all overwhelming - so many tasks that need to get done in a short space of time..... Make sure the kids are up and getting dressed - 2 different type of lunches and snacks to be made, breakfast, last minute book order and then I need to be somewhat presentable to leave the house. At least change my pajamas - time, time, must leave now!!! Ok, I know I seem to be kvetching a bit - we all do this dance every morning on some level. Some mornings are executed beautifully and others are off kilter but I am the leader of the band and if I am off kilter it all goes awry, especially for me. I ride home on my bike after they are tucked into their classrooms and breathe and feel the not good enough music plying in my mind and slowly engulfing my body. My mind rationalizes - NO! Turn off that music and then the me that is full of love and knowing says YES! Feel that uncomfortable, icky stuff. I cry, wishing I could release the thoughts with the emotion to another soul but we are all on our day filled with the tasks of life and I too must get on with mine. This is how I find my way.......and sit her smiling,connected and feeling tender but powerful.
I look at the sky and think what is it that I need to do now to give to myself. I pick up my hand trowel left on the side of my house and plant some broccoli starts a friend gave to me 3 days ago and weed and water. No longer feeling overwhelmed or insignificant in my life. The day begins with connecting to my delicate, soft self and allowing love and compassion to reign. Yes it does take conscious effort to connect to those feelings and allow them to surface, to recognize that once released you can move through them and have a day of truth.
Choosing my life today!
With Compassion,
Natalie
January 15th 2014
This morning proved to unravel in a way that left me feeling incompetent in being a Mom and House/Family Manager. It just felt all overwhelming - so many tasks that need to get done in a short space of time..... Make sure the kids are up and getting dressed - 2 different type of lunches and snacks to be made, breakfast, last minute book order and then I need to be somewhat presentable to leave the house. At least change my pajamas - time, time, must leave now!!! Ok, I know I seem to be kvetching a bit - we all do this dance every morning on some level. Some mornings are executed beautifully and others are off kilter but I am the leader of the band and if I am off kilter it all goes awry, especially for me. I ride home on my bike after they are tucked into their classrooms and breathe and feel the not good enough music plying in my mind and slowly engulfing my body. My mind rationalizes - NO! Turn off that music and then the me that is full of love and knowing says YES! Feel that uncomfortable, icky stuff. I cry, wishing I could release the thoughts with the emotion to another soul but we are all on our day filled with the tasks of life and I too must get on with mine. This is how I find my way.......and sit her smiling,connected and feeling tender but powerful.
I look at the sky and think what is it that I need to do now to give to myself. I pick up my hand trowel left on the side of my house and plant some broccoli starts a friend gave to me 3 days ago and weed and water. No longer feeling overwhelmed or insignificant in my life. The day begins with connecting to my delicate, soft self and allowing love and compassion to reign. Yes it does take conscious effort to connect to those feelings and allow them to surface, to recognize that once released you can move through them and have a day of truth.
Choosing my life today!
With Compassion,
Natalie
Monday, January 13, 2014
Lets Rewire The Way We See Our World
Blog - January 13th 2014
Lets Rewire the Way we see our World
The brain is a funny thing and today I am going to be in charge of it for a second - again I am choosing to let go of my “stories” whether I made them up or I feel they have been created for me by my life experience. Today it is my choice, my thinking, my doing.
That being said, this morning as a mom I was tested and exercised every ounce of patience I possessed in my being. My daughter this Monday could not, would not get out of bed and without fail it was her lack of sleep over the weekend. Saturday sleep over and Sunday family dinner - 2 late nights for an 8 year old - as simple as that; a lack of sleep leading to tears and a difficult start to the day. We learn together- take care of your body to be prepared for the day, the week, the month, the year. I too had too much caffeine Sunday -- Ahh elusive sleep.... As I must teach my daughter the consequences of our choices and take the responsibility as her Mom for her state of being. I have to be gentle and compassionate and realize we all operate best when we keep our lives simple. I can get caught up in the story of the sometimes overwhelming responsibility I feel of being a mother or just get on with it as I told my daughter as we finally got on our bikes to ride to school "just start pedaling and you will feel better". We can let our mind run away and then the emotions start a party or just start pedaling....
I make the choices each day as I must take responsibility. Simple, Small, Breathe ...easy steps today. Give love, feel love.
With compassion,
Natalie
Lets Rewire the Way we see our World
The brain is a funny thing and today I am going to be in charge of it for a second - again I am choosing to let go of my “stories” whether I made them up or I feel they have been created for me by my life experience. Today it is my choice, my thinking, my doing.
That being said, this morning as a mom I was tested and exercised every ounce of patience I possessed in my being. My daughter this Monday could not, would not get out of bed and without fail it was her lack of sleep over the weekend. Saturday sleep over and Sunday family dinner - 2 late nights for an 8 year old - as simple as that; a lack of sleep leading to tears and a difficult start to the day. We learn together- take care of your body to be prepared for the day, the week, the month, the year. I too had too much caffeine Sunday -- Ahh elusive sleep.... As I must teach my daughter the consequences of our choices and take the responsibility as her Mom for her state of being. I have to be gentle and compassionate and realize we all operate best when we keep our lives simple. I can get caught up in the story of the sometimes overwhelming responsibility I feel of being a mother or just get on with it as I told my daughter as we finally got on our bikes to ride to school "just start pedaling and you will feel better". We can let our mind run away and then the emotions start a party or just start pedaling....
I make the choices each day as I must take responsibility. Simple, Small, Breathe ...easy steps today. Give love, feel love.
With compassion,
Natalie
Friday, January 10, 2014
Starting Fresh - Without Limitation---
Blog January 10th 2014.
Starting Fresh - Without Limitation---
What is it about the New Year that gives you that feeling that anything is possible and you can and WILL accomplish your wildest dreams. The energy in your body is palpable and the ideas keep coming as you feel there is nothing that will hold you back from moving forward with ease and actually achieving the goals/intentions/desires that flow through your mind and give you sensations of excitement in your body!
What if you could harness that feeling all year long, at anytime? I am always amazed at how joyful I feel at the start of a New Year. It is the knowing of a clean slate. Everything in your being tells you “YOU CAN DO IT!” You not only believe it, but you see the end result happen with a sense of ease. Somehow we give our selves permission to let go of all the negative thoughts that generally hold us back in our daily doing. Our commitment to our self slowly slips away and despair and worry seeps in to our existence weighing us down. Well if it is as easy as just having a new start to generate ‘possibility joy’ how about we just make the decision to do it. We use our minds to generate that “FRESH START” feeling.
I am going to start by accessing the feeling of excitement that I have in me now as I set my intention and know that I am creating a whole new world for myself - A new attitude that I can recall when I need it. Oh! I feel it ! As if I am floating in water completely supported by EVERYTHING. The UNIVERSE is saying “go ahead”, “you can do it”, “you can have it all”.
This year I am going to let go of all the shoulda , woulda , coulda and move forward in my life with joyful ease. It will be about making decisions and choices each day as I tell my mind how to think or let go of thoughts and access my inner knowing. The voice that taps you on the shoulder every New Year and says “remember me... in here” - “I AM THE REAL YOU “ “ THE YOU THAT CAN LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT AND NOW IS THE TIME”.
With excitement of what is possible this year,
Natalie Laughlin Tanner
Starting Fresh - Without Limitation---
What is it about the New Year that gives you that feeling that anything is possible and you can and WILL accomplish your wildest dreams. The energy in your body is palpable and the ideas keep coming as you feel there is nothing that will hold you back from moving forward with ease and actually achieving the goals/intentions/desires that flow through your mind and give you sensations of excitement in your body!
What if you could harness that feeling all year long, at anytime? I am always amazed at how joyful I feel at the start of a New Year. It is the knowing of a clean slate. Everything in your being tells you “YOU CAN DO IT!” You not only believe it, but you see the end result happen with a sense of ease. Somehow we give our selves permission to let go of all the negative thoughts that generally hold us back in our daily doing. Our commitment to our self slowly slips away and despair and worry seeps in to our existence weighing us down. Well if it is as easy as just having a new start to generate ‘possibility joy’ how about we just make the decision to do it. We use our minds to generate that “FRESH START” feeling.
I am going to start by accessing the feeling of excitement that I have in me now as I set my intention and know that I am creating a whole new world for myself - A new attitude that I can recall when I need it. Oh! I feel it ! As if I am floating in water completely supported by EVERYTHING. The UNIVERSE is saying “go ahead”, “you can do it”, “you can have it all”.
This year I am going to let go of all the shoulda , woulda , coulda and move forward in my life with joyful ease. It will be about making decisions and choices each day as I tell my mind how to think or let go of thoughts and access my inner knowing. The voice that taps you on the shoulder every New Year and says “remember me... in here” - “I AM THE REAL YOU “ “ THE YOU THAT CAN LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT AND NOW IS THE TIME”.
With excitement of what is possible this year,
Natalie Laughlin Tanner
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