Allowing the Connection to Thy Delicate Self
January 15th 2014
This morning proved to unravel in a way that left me feeling incompetent in being a Mom and House/Family Manager. It just felt all overwhelming - so many tasks that need to get done in a short space of time..... Make sure the kids are up and getting dressed - 2 different type of lunches and snacks to be made, breakfast, last minute book order and then I need to be somewhat presentable to leave the house. At least change my pajamas - time, time, must leave now!!! Ok, I know I seem to be kvetching a bit - we all do this dance every morning on some level. Some mornings are executed beautifully and others are off kilter but I am the leader of the band and if I am off kilter it all goes awry, especially for me. I ride home on my bike after they are tucked into their classrooms and breathe and feel the not good enough music plying in my mind and slowly engulfing my body. My mind rationalizes - NO! Turn off that music and then the me that is full of love and knowing says YES! Feel that uncomfortable, icky stuff. I cry, wishing I could release the thoughts with the emotion to another soul but we are all on our day filled with the tasks of life and I too must get on with mine. This is how I find my way.......and sit her smiling,connected and feeling tender but powerful.
I look at the sky and think what is it that I need to do now to give to myself. I pick up my hand trowel left on the side of my house and plant some broccoli starts a friend gave to me 3 days ago and weed and water. No longer feeling overwhelmed or insignificant in my life. The day begins with connecting to my delicate, soft self and allowing love and compassion to reign. Yes it does take conscious effort to connect to those feelings and allow them to surface, to recognize that once released you can move through them and have a day of truth.
Choosing my life today!
With Compassion,
Natalie
January 15th 2014
This morning proved to unravel in a way that left me feeling incompetent in being a Mom and House/Family Manager. It just felt all overwhelming - so many tasks that need to get done in a short space of time..... Make sure the kids are up and getting dressed - 2 different type of lunches and snacks to be made, breakfast, last minute book order and then I need to be somewhat presentable to leave the house. At least change my pajamas - time, time, must leave now!!! Ok, I know I seem to be kvetching a bit - we all do this dance every morning on some level. Some mornings are executed beautifully and others are off kilter but I am the leader of the band and if I am off kilter it all goes awry, especially for me. I ride home on my bike after they are tucked into their classrooms and breathe and feel the not good enough music plying in my mind and slowly engulfing my body. My mind rationalizes - NO! Turn off that music and then the me that is full of love and knowing says YES! Feel that uncomfortable, icky stuff. I cry, wishing I could release the thoughts with the emotion to another soul but we are all on our day filled with the tasks of life and I too must get on with mine. This is how I find my way.......and sit her smiling,connected and feeling tender but powerful.
I look at the sky and think what is it that I need to do now to give to myself. I pick up my hand trowel left on the side of my house and plant some broccoli starts a friend gave to me 3 days ago and weed and water. No longer feeling overwhelmed or insignificant in my life. The day begins with connecting to my delicate, soft self and allowing love and compassion to reign. Yes it does take conscious effort to connect to those feelings and allow them to surface, to recognize that once released you can move through them and have a day of truth.
Choosing my life today!
With Compassion,
Natalie
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