Choosing My Life Today...Allowing the Connection to Thy Delicate Self

Allowing the Connection to Thy Delicate Self
January 15th 2014

This morning proved to unravel in a way that left me feeling incompetent in being a Mom and House/Family Manager. It just felt all overwhelming - so many tasks that need to get done in a short space of time..... Make sure the kids are up and getting dressed - 2 different type of lunches and snacks to be made, breakfast, last minute book order and then I need to be somewhat presentable to leave the house. At least change my pajamas - time, time, must leave now!!! Ok, I know I seem to be kvetching a bit - we all do this dance every morning on some level. Some mornings are executed beautifully and others are off kilter but I am the leader of the band and if I am off kilter it all goes awry, especially for me. I ride home on my bike after they are tucked into their classrooms and breathe and feel the not good enough music plying in my mind and slowly engulfing my body. My mind rationalizes - NO! Turn off that music and then the me that is full of love and knowing says YES! Feel that uncomfortable, icky stuff. I cry, wishing I could release the thoughts with the emotion to another soul but we are all on our day filled with the tasks of life and I too must get on with mine. This is how I find my way.......and sit her smiling,connected and feeling tender but powerful.

I look at the sky and think what is it that I need to do now to give to myself. I pick up my hand trowel left on the side of my house and plant some broccoli starts a friend gave to me 3 days ago and weed and water. No longer feeling overwhelmed or insignificant in my life. The day begins with connecting to my delicate, soft self and allowing love and compassion to reign. Yes it does take conscious effort to connect to those feelings and allow them to surface, to recognize that once released you can move through them and have a day of truth.
Choosing my life today!

With Compassion,
Natalie

Lets Rewire The Way We See Our World

Blog - January 13th 2014

 Lets Rewire the Way we see our World

The brain is a funny thing and today I am going to be in charge of it for a second - again I am choosing to let go of my “stories” whether I made them up or I feel they have been created for me by my life experience. Today it is my choice, my thinking, my doing.

That being said, this morning as a mom I was tested and exercised every ounce of patience I possessed in my being. My daughter this Monday could not, would not get out of bed and without fail it was her lack of sleep over the weekend. Saturday sleep over and Sunday family dinner - 2 late nights for an 8 year old - as simple as that; a lack of sleep leading to tears and a difficult start to the day. We learn together- take care of your body to be prepared for the day, the week, the month, the year. I too had too much caffeine Sunday -- Ahh elusive sleep.... As I must teach my daughter the consequences of our choices and take the responsibility as her Mom for her state of being. I have to be gentle and compassionate and realize we all operate best when we keep our lives simple. I can get caught up in the story of the sometimes overwhelming responsibility I feel of being a mother or just get on with it as I told my daughter as we finally got on our bikes to ride to school  "just start pedaling and you will feel better". We can let our mind run away and then the emotions start a party or just start pedaling....

I make the choices each day as I must take responsibility. Simple, Small, Breathe ...easy steps today. Give love, feel love.

With compassion,
Natalie