The Old is New Again.....Finding My Way Forward

England 2012 On the train to London today to visit Hughes agency . I worked with Cheryl Hughes 20 years ago in London, they were the only plus agency at the time. Remembering now Cheryl booked me on my first if job with H&M in Stockholm, those photos started my career. It' s very exciting to think that I could possibly work here again. London is one of my favorite cities in the world and I feel so comfortable here yet on my toes as all is different than my world . Amazing how just being in a different country frees you up to uncover parts of yourself you have forgotten. Passing Stratford now where the Olympic park is seeing the stadium and tall red torch tower ( well that is what I think it is ) . It is an exciting time to be here with the Queens Jubilee just celebrated, the European football cup on ( sorry Brits, lost in overtime penalty kicks to Italy) and Olympic fever in the air. Union jack flags are everywhere and on everyone. Definitely picking up a towel and some t's. Ahhhh shopping in London can I resist ? I think not, luckily there are summer sales! Oxford street here I come. There is nothing like arriving into Liverpool street station and walking out into the open grandeur of an old train station,bustling as the sun streams in sheets of light through the clear glass roof as it has for hundreds of years. Now down, down into the the underground ; the steepest escalators ever and the future is exposed as hundreds of tv screens along the walls change in unison as you glide into the tubes of the underground . Soothing female English announcements tell you the trains route and it all feels very civilized . The old and new worlds existing together seamlessly: that is London. Did I say how happy I am , I am so happy to be here.! Must have had a past life in London! I guess it might have been a good one . Namaste, Natalie P.S . I have pics but cannot upload from my iPad ? Me and technology ?

Getting Cocky.....Getting Off Track.....Recommitting to The Life I Want...

Getting cocky - Blog April 13 th How often will I revisit the knowing I know - as they say in OA : it works if you work it! Once again I have found my self coming back to the start. I ask my self ,"is it the getting close to a goal that relaxes oneself into casual loss of focus and commitment , or is it that I needed a break, or even further, somewhere in my mind the importance the focus on my self feels inconsequential. ." Here is the deal in a nut shell. I decided that I was going to reach a goal of 170 lbs for myself and be motivated by the attention to my spiritual self - stepping out and becoming aware of the ever present ego. I do believe that my lifelong issues with my weight and food are my path to my god self and I was going to explore that. Now of course I made choices such as eating for health and exercise as part of the endeavor to honor my being. My focus was going to be spirit first without the constant diet deprivation that has plagued most of my life . I had great success and the ease at times amazed me, but, yes but, it is a dance, as in any search for balance in life. There I was 173 lbs down from 188 and feeling like " I got this". Slowly I stopped blogging and that voice that comes in on those quiet moments to share was swiped away by feelings of" Hey I know what I am doing - one pack of Cheetos is not going to change anything". Well for one my weight crept back up to 178 , but more than that I stopped meditating and and my life began to feel like it was running away from me. The space I created for my self focus lost it' s importance or it's very place. As a mother of a 6 and 8 year old my focus is divided into so many directions and I know that only by going within can I have sanity in my life. I want my attention to meditation to be motivated through joy and yet without commitment to the doing of it I can talk myself out of sitting still with my thoughts. Be- Do- Have...... .? A friend told me the other day that even though I say I want a simple life she thinks I like the stimulation or jazzy jolt I get from constantly being on the go. She said I may want the zen inside me but really like the drama around me. I have good friends - Looking at this I see the pattern . Do I do as I say I want ? I am recommitting to myself today......again, with humor and love or should I say humility and compassion. How would my life be if I got everything I said I wanted?

Neat and Tidy All The Time........

Ok - I know we all do this - We all feel this way - The moment uncomfortable feelings come up all we want to do is to have them gone - back to that nice comfy place of 'Everything is all right' - IT IS TOUGH BEING A GROWN UP !

Life is in constant motion and what we can count on most of the time is that there will be hiccups along the way - things happening not as planned. Even if that is not what happens there are our ever changing feelings/moods triggered by mysterious events - the moon, hormones, relationships, weather, looking in the mirror, driving in our cars, thinking about the past - at any given moment - we can be taken there - to that not so right place and if we are not strong or aware at the time all we want to do is find a way to erase it.
 That for me is my WHOA - HOLD ON SISTER- let's take a moment here. Sometimes it is not the having to analyze the feeling of why I am in avoidance . Who has time for the analysis all the time!

Today I just thru my hands up and said to myself - sometimes it is not peachy and sometimes I will feel uncomfortable. The key for my well being is... how easy is it for me to sit with that Icky place. THAT IS WHAT I MUST WORK TOWARDS- Just settle into it like stepping your toes in dog pooh and going "okay not so nice but I am not going to die here .... Am I."

We are all so busy working to living our perfect lives - getting it right and having it all wrapped up in a pretty package we forget that we are indeed human and being uncomfortable is just part of our life.

if I can only get this I think I can feel happy -SEE ,SEE !!Just as I said we want it our life experience to be 'Neat and Tidy'.




There will be days/moments of joy and then there will be days of stepping in POOH, and in between I will find ways to satisfy my dissatisfaction by stepping into my now moment or just have a good cry. I will find a way to be present in my life.......the story is unfolding and it will not be neat and tidy ?? Or will it?

Namaste,

Natalie

Natalie Laughlin: Can We Love Ourselves Enough To No Longer Want To Be Like Anyone But Who We Are?

Natalie Laughlin: Can We Love Ourselves Enough To No Longer Want To Be Like Anyone But Who We Are?

Once again we as full figured women are at the forefront of the world stage thanks to the risks being taken by Plus Model Magazine and editor Madeline Figueroa - Jones. Women and the mainstream fashion industry continue to clash as models appear to be getting thinner and present a more unrealistic image for girls and women.
Congratulations Plus Model Magazine - plus-model-mag.com on having the courage to bring the conversation into our awareness again. This is not new and I am frustrated that we as women have not gone beyond the physical to address this issue of our bodies.
What I struggle with is how do we make lasting change-
I believe it starts when WE truly accept our bodies each day with gratitude.
Honouring ourselves for our highest good takes a relentless ongoing inward focus that reveals itself outwardly in our form. Can we love ourselves enough to no longer want to be like anyone but who we are?
Here is the link to the Video with Diane Sawyer
abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/01/most-models-meet-criteria-for-anorexia-size-6-is-plus-size-magazine/
As a mother to a girl I want her to feel gratitude for her body and how it carries her through the world, yet know that in that 'gratitude' she honours her body by feeding it nourishing food and moving it in ways that bring her joy. The goal is not to look like what she sees around her but to feel confident as herself -the focus needs to be pleasing oneself.
Often this image of oneself can be distorted by the outside world and we as human beings like to feel connected to others. The key is how do we know when to make the choice to recognize that we do not all look alike and it is our unique rythm that makes us beautiful. Our beauty identity needs to come from us and it is in loving ourselves we appreciate/accept/love what we see in the mirror.
It takes awarness of self and courage to have confidence.
I would love to know how you see yourself in the world.
Natalie Laughlin

Spreading my wings.... with focus in 2012

Natalie here
Day 101

As I counted down the days and realized I am past 100 I had to giggle at myself. So often in my life I live in great intensity that leaves me more anxious than focused. It is easy I think for us to focus on the negative as the ego mind is always there in waiting, and yet, there are lessons to be learned . One Hundred days may have passed but my journey of feeding my spirit continues as it always will. I feel encouraged by moving forward and completely successful in all that I am learning about myself. My body IS lighter and my path clearer.....

It's a new year ! Let's spread our wings ! Attack !

A New Year and an opportunity to truly begin anew.
Here I am thinking that I would recap how my holidays went and how I lived from my consciousness/ my spirit and sometimes let go of it. Then I realized that I can truly follow what we talk about all the time- living in the present and starting from the now moment. It doesn't matter what has happened in the past, each moment is an opportunity to be fresh with possibilities.

What do we do now, today, that will move us closer to self satisfaction. You know, that place  of feeling good within and it spills out all over into a smile- that full body smile. For me, honoring myself is the way. My friend Nancy said to me yesterday " we will spread our wings in 2012" thinking of it now I love the idea and imagery of having wings.
Can we be our own Angels taking care and watching over ourselves with love and everything that is sweetness , yet be powerful. Even if you don't believe in Angels ( I do ) the idea of having love for yourself brings peace into your life.

So, as I spread my wings this year I will " Attack !" Years ago on a spiritual journey I took in Egypt, the Egyptologist and tour leader of our group would call out "Attack!"  as we followed him into the crowded Temples . That very word "Attack" embodied a focus and attitude as we stuck together moving through the crowds.  A single minded focus towards our goal.

So in this first month of a New Year I will write my intentions - STEP ONE  be my own Angel - STEP TWO  spread my wings and fly!



ATTACK!



 Namaste,

Natalie